Dating 101 or How to Find a Man in Lisaland

Alright.....lets just jump right into this one. Tuesday's are gonna be dedicated to me! Okay...I know it appears that I feel that most days are already dedicated to me....but Tuesdays are going to be dedicated to my love life, or lack there of. We are going to call this little diddy: Dating 101 or How to Find a Man in Lisaland! The title.....although catchy, was not a creation of mine but rather a suggestion by one of my readers. Thank you G. and yes....you know who you are!

How to begin this??? Well, first of all I guess I will tell you what I don't want. I don't want to try and find someone through a dating site. I am more into actual people and not so much profiles. This is in no way a diss to people who use dating sites or have used dating sites in the past. In fact, when I talked about a dating site in an earlier blog I got lots of comments from people telling me how much success they had had with them, but honestly.....they are just not for me. Catch me in a year though, and we might be talking a whole different story. I don't want to be anyone's mommy. If you can't fix a meal for yourself from time to time, pick up your own underwear off the floor or grab your own kleenex box when you are sick, then you and I are probably not meant to be. I already have kids the law says that I have to take care of. I don't need a big one thrown in for good measure. I don't want someone who doesn't like kids or dogs...... or vice versa. They say if the kids or animals don't like someone...that is a pretty good sign to cut them loose. And I really don't want to be in a relationship where we both are in love with the same person! I don't want someone who placates me all the time nor someone that thinks they will control me. I don't want someone who will be jealous of my kids nor do I want a momma's boy. If you haven't cut the apron strings at this stage of the game....chances are you will be happier with a cat than you will be with me. Finally....while I am not a neat freak, it would be nice if you bathed regularly, brushed your teeth every once in awhile and knew what deodorant was. Smell has become about 65% of how I view my male first impressions.

The what I don't wants I think are easier than the what I do's.....because frankly....aside from being male, having a pulse, not being a hundred and not smelling like he works in a sewer, I have absolutely no idea what I want. I won't lie and say that appearances don't matter, because we all know they do. But they matter in a different way now than they did when say..... I was in my 20's. Now the appearances that matter to me are things like does he smile and laugh alot or does he look like he hates the world? Does he hold a door for me or does he walk a head and ignore me?  When he talks to me is it all about him or does he give me a chance for some input? No longer do I care what kind of car he drives, what the label on his jeans say or even how good he looks in said jeans. Okay.... maybe a nice butt does not go unnoticed by me, but it is certainly not a deal breaker! I think what I want is real substance. I want a grown up...who has a job and his own transportation, who is not currently on parole or on the run from the law, is not afraid to laugh, who understands that life can change in the blink of an eye and can roll with the punches when it does. I want someone who will fight with me and not be afraid to tell me when I am wrong but at the same time realize....I am NEVER wrong! I want someone who loves me for me and not somebody they want me to be. I want someone who knows how to have fun and also knows when to man up and help out. And as we all know.....if he has handy man skills, most of the other stuff probably doesn't matter. AND if he has handy man skills and money....well he had me at handy man!

So what does a man who has all these attributes get in return? He gets a real honest to goodness woman! Some days I am sweet as pie and others I can put the fear of God in you with just a look. Some days I am all about happy and some days you just better run. I am fairly intelligent with a bit of a problem when it comes to remembering things (keys, glasses, birth certificates and checkbooks all fall into this category). I am honest for the most part (don't ask me my age, my weight or my real hair color because I will lie like the rug you are standing on). I love my kids (most days), I work hard (every day), and I play hard (on the rare occasions when I get the chance). Most of all though.....I like to laugh....a lot. I try to find humor in most things, I don't like to be agreed with just for the sake of peace and I believe that every once in a while....a good argument is necessary to clear the air and move on. I will bend over backwards for those I love and I am fiercely loyal to those who are close to me. I have no patience with liars, schemers or those who seem to see themselves as better than others. If you like/love me...then do so to the fullest and if you don't, then just be honest about it, don't play games and back the hell away. I have no real skills other than cheesecake baking...oh and did I mention I have a tattoo? If I had you at cheesecake....well then we may be on to something here.

The bottom line is...when I married my husband and got out of the dating rat race, I thought it would be forever. I was wrong. For all intense purposes....it has been a decade since I have been out with a man and I really don't even know if I am ready for all of this again. I guess though...I will never know until I try. So this is me.....getting ready to get ready to think about thinking about....dating again! I guess now all that is left to do is to welcome you to.......Dating 101 or How To Find a Man....In Lisaland! To be continued........

Happy Tuesday!