Motherhood for Dummies.....I Survived Motherhood

Motherhood! It is that place in time...somewhere between you can't wait for them to arrive and you can't wait for them to leave. I have always said how wise God was when He gave us children as infants. They are so tiny and cute and you just want to hold and squeeze them. But by the time you learn how they really are.....they are too big to send back and you have already spent way to much on them to make the return....cost effective.

Once they are here and belong to us outright....we begin spending our time wishing. We wish they would learn to talk and then we wish they would just shut up. We wish they would learn to walk and then we wish they would just sit still. We wish they would learn to drive....and then we wish they would just make curfew. All that wishing makes us old before our time. Not them though. They have endless energy and the speed of a puma. They don't listen and in the blink of an eye....they are wiser than you and in their infinite wisdom they let you know daily how ridiculously stupid you are. Funny though....in all our stupidity, we are the ones they run to for gas money, clothes money, and miscellaneous funds. Amazing how we are wise enough to handle their finances but apparently not smart enough to dress ourselves properly or be seen with them in public. Yep....this is what Motherhood is all about. 

I look at the "cool moms" and wonder how in the heck they ever achieved that status? Do they buy their kids alcohol, let them have co-ed sleepovers or did they just get some "cool mom" memo that I missed? Sadly....my kids are stuck with me and they let me know on a regular basis just how uncool, mean and totally out of touch I am. I expect respect, chores are done, curfews are kept and I make the rules. They also know that the rules can change at any time and "because I said so," is sometimes all the answer they are going to get. Guess I will never make it in the "cool mom" club. Sigh!

Motherhood is not easy and sometimes it is neither fun nor rewarding.....(regardless of what the commercials and the greeting cards try to tell us.) Motherhood causes you to sing Barney songs in the checkout line at the grocery store and to show up for work with baby puke down your back. Motherhood causes you to have a black eye from a strategically thrown 9 month olds head and leads you to find cheerios in your purse. Motherhood is soothing bruised knees and bruised hearts. It's crying on your child's first day of school....and then again on their last day. Motherhood is screaming over toilet seats that aren't put down, clothes that aren't folded and rooms that aren't cleaned. It's dinners shared, homework done together and vacations full of memories. Motherhood is every joy, every pain and the most unbelievable love you never knew you could ever possibly feel for another living soul......all rolled into one.

Quite honestly.....there are days when my kids make my world go round and then there are days that I would gladly pay someone just.....to take them away. My kids are smart and articulate and almost paid for....so I guess I better keep them. Okay....Motherhood doesn't always suck and as jobs go...it's not too bad.....but please don't tell the kids I said that.....we don't need a mutiny on our hands. Besides...with any luck their will come a day when I can proudly say......I survived Motherhood!



 Here is hoping that you have a fun filled Friday. Happy Friday everyone!