No Room For Liars

Thursday all ready??? Where is the time going? Last night was fun. I got to spend time with Chris and her son for their respective birthdays and I got to see some more friends that I hadn't seen in awhile. Oh...and I got to hold the most precious baby girl for quite awhile. She was soooo cute and I really didn't want to give her back. Trust me....thoughts of putting her in my purse and walking out were definitely going through my head. It was a really nice night.

Today we are back To Like or Dislike. Well, there has been a recurring issue going through my life lately and that is what today's dislike is all about. I can deal with a lot of things from alot of  people.  Bad attitudes and bad reactions rarely phase me....after all I have had kids. However...the one thing I cannot deal with..... is a liar. Now I am not claiming that I have never stretched the truth and I am sure there have been times that I flat out told some whoppers, but I learned early on that one lie always leads to another and before long....you have either completely lost the truth or gotten so wrapped up in the lies that you catch yourself up. Lies always have consequences....and the biggest one is....if you get caught, it negatively reflects how people view you and how they react to you. Even a small lie can bite you. As human nature can tell you, if you will lie about the small things, then who knows how you will react to the big ones? It's a pretty sure bet you won't react honestly.

Lies can tear apart family relationships, friendships and work relationships. Once you are caught....you become a pariah of sorts. People lose faith in you, your word and your ability to honestly carry out what needs to be done. No one likes to be lied to....and no one likes to be called a liar. Especially if it is true. 

My kids have tried it. All kids do. I think though they have learned that the consequences aren't worth the action as privileges and allowances cease to exist for them. I do however expect my kids to lie when they are young. To some degree it is part of the learning process to see how far they can push. As a parent....I put up my boundaries and they know that lying crosses the line and the consequences are quite unpleasant. That is the way it should be! What should not be though, is a grown person who lies as easily as they breathe. I run into so many of those....I could just scream.

One instance is a family member. I am not sure whether he lies to everyone or just me, but I would surmise that if you are willing to lie to one....then you are probably an equal opportunity liar. You can never ask this person anything and have any faith that the response will even hold and ounce of truth. And worse....sometimes he lies without provocation. He initiates the lie and carries it out without anyone even asking him. When caught though....and I always know because he, like all liars, has very distinctive "tells", gets bitterly angry. He acts insulted and furious that someone would call him a liar when the reality is.....he is angry because he got caught. I have spent years dealing with this individual and being lied to at every turn. There have even been times that I tried with all my heart to believe that which I knew deep down was a lie....but then the issue stopped being his and started being mine. I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't trust what he said and because of that....I knew I couldn't trust what he did. The lies finally became too much and eventually I just had to walk away.....family or not.

Recently I have been caught up in someone else's lies. I have watched this individual lie for awhile now. Most of the lies have appeared to be fairly insignificant, but this person has major tells that they aren't aware of and with each lie the tells are quite obvious. I really tried to ignore the lies because I liked this person and really didn't want to think negatively about them. The lies continued to build and then recently this person was caught in a very major lie. Not only did they lie, but they brought others into the lie. This person got caught....but not before a lot of damage was done to everyone involved. It almost destroyed a very important relationship too. Once caught though.....they did not understand why others were angry at them and they did their best to deflect both the blame and the consequences off on others. It was a bad situation and it was at the place where I couldn't help but start to look at this person very differently. Then a really horrible situation happened involving this person. While the situation was not really their fault...how they handled it....was. Suddenly when the finger was pointing at them....they started finger pointing at everyone else. I was pulled into something I knew very little about and had  absolutely nothing to do with. Then this  person started lying right and left. The bad thing was....this person was believing their own lies the minute they left their mouth. They were snow balling and dragging a lot of people down with them. It was pathetic and tragic and very unnecessary. Now I am faced with the possibility of having to deal with this person on a daily basis again....and I just don't know that I can. The lies are not going to stop and I don't have the energy or desire to have to sift through every word said to me to find the truth. I am disgusted to the point of being physically sick.

I have to ask....why lie? Why not just tell the truth in the first place? It is so difficult to have to keep coming up with lies and trying to remember who you told what to. If you just start out with the truth....you don't end up twisted up in dishonesty. You also don't end up alienating everyone in your path.

As I said, I can deal with a lot, but lying and liars are just too much for me. There is simply no room in my life...... for liars. On that note...I think I will leave you with a smile and a wish for a very wonderful Thursday. Happy Thursday everyone!!!!