Why Me Lord?

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It happened yet again today. I sat in church and the sermon came off the pulpit as if it was directed at me. Yes....I have been questioning again. I have been worried and unsure and maybe even doing a little of the "why me Lord" stuff. By the way....I hate the why me stuff, but I am human and every once in a while.....it just seeps out. So as I sat there....Father began a story about a young man named Eugene Orowitz. You see Orowitz was in high school and one of the smallest ones in his class. In gym, the teacher had the kids throwing the javelin. All the other boys had taken their turn and then the teacher asked if Orowitz would like to try. Amidst some teasing he said that he would and he imagined himself a warrior throwing his spear. Low and behold....his went twice as far as anyone elses and landed in the bleachers. Once retrieved it was revealed the javelin had broken its tip. The teacher told Orowitz that it was no longer any good to the school so he if wanted it....he could have it. Orowitz took that javelin home and spent all summer working with it. By the start of school, he was the star javelin thrower. By the time he graduated high school he had lettered in the sport and received an athletic scholarship to the University of Southern California. It was a dream come true. During his first year of college he was at a meet and didn't warm up properly. When Orowitz threw the javelin....he tore his shoulder ligaments thus ending his athletic career as well as his academic one. He quit college to go to work in a warehouse. How sad this was for a young man who had worked so hard to acheive his dreams, only to have them destroyed by an injury. At such a young age, his life seemed to derail and head into a completely different direction. One that couldn't possibly hold a candle to a college education. I am sure he said "why me" at least once. Who wouldn't? I was right there with him as Father spoke, thinking my life is nothing like I planned it to be. Little if anything that I dreamed of as a teen on the brink of adulthood came true and here I sit with a life completely different of how I thought it would be. Hmmmm!

But Eugene Orowitz story did not end in the warehouse. In fact....the warehouse was just the beginning, because here he met an actor who saw potential in the young Orowitz. In fact he saw so much potential that it wasn't anytime before Orowitz left his warehouse role to take on a new role.....as Little Joe Cartwright on Bonanza. And if you are of the age to know whom I am referring to, you will know that Orowitz also went on to direct and star in both Little House on the Prairie and Highway to Heaven. Of course I am talking about Michael Landon who changed his name from Eugene Orowitz when he started acting. Apparently in an interview given during his long and prolific career.....Landon stated that tearing those ligaments and losing his scholarship though he didn't realize it at the time.....was the best thing that had ever happened to him. God had other plans for him and the javelin throwing was just the beginning.

Okay....I got it! You don't have to slap me out of the pew more than once during a sermon. I know when God and/or Father are trying to tell me something. Just because we want something doesn't mean it is always what is best for us and just because we lose something doesn't mean something better isn't just around the corner. Sometimes we just have to go through what we have to go through.....to get to where we need to be. A very wise man used to say these words to me and I have lived by those words since....that is....when I am not asking "why me?"

So again...this was one of those sermons that has remained with me long after Mass was over. I really did get it. No....my life has not always gone where I wanted it to and I haven't always been able to get the things, do the things or have the people in my life that I wanted to....but there is a reason. Even if I don't understand it and yes.....even when I lose things....I usually do get something that I sometimes didn't even know I wanted. Somehow....things always just seem to work out. Which brings me to now. Looking back....even though my life has derailed more than once, I can't say that I would trade the path that I have ended up on. Easy? No. But most of the time....so worth it. So why should right here and right now be any different? I still have hopes and dreams and many, many wishes and some will happen and some won't. What I need to remember though is....what doesn't happen the way I want it to....doesn't mean that something else won't happen that is better and wonderful and best of all.....a bit unexpected. That is what makes life exciting and mysterious and so worth the journey. It is all.....just a matter of patience. Oh....did I mention that I don't have any? Guess I better get to working on them.

Well...this is the spiritual side of me today. It was a lesson well learned and one I am so glad I was present for. Maybe not everything I want is in my future....but it is guaranteed that everything I need will be........and best of all......when I least expect it! And on that note.....I will leave you with just three words: God is good!

Happy Sunday!